It’s no secret that I have been single for a while now, and it is no secret that I am a slight loner. I was in a relationship with the one I thought I’d marry for a year and a half, and I did enjoy the companionship I had with that person. I won’t lie to you, some days, I do miss it, while other days, I know it ended for the best. I will admit that I miss having someone to go on random road trips with and be silly with. But as I’ve said, I’ve been single for a while now, and I would like to share some of the amazing things I have learned with all of the single college girls and guys out there watching every other person fall in love/ get engaged/ have families/ whatever else it may be.
1.You Are Fine.
So many people believe that something is wrong with them because their relationship failed and they aren’t dating in college. First, the relationship not working out is not all your fault, and do not think it is. You are worthy of love, and many people just grow apart. It happens. Relationships end for all sorts of reasons, and it is okay if it doesn’t work out. It is okay if the one you felt was your future turned out to be your dead end. God had a plan for that relationship in your life, and trust me when I say all relationships teach you something about yourself. Relationships teach you to love another person for their imperfections, to make up with another person after a fight because you care more about them than being right, and it teaches you how to place another person’s wants and needs above your own. If you aren’t dating in college, that is no one’s business but your own. Date if you want, focus on school if you want. Just because you don’t date doesn’t mean you are messed up. It just means that you have your priorities in order, and you know your self worth.
2. Respect Yourself.
The worse thing you can do to yourself is not love yourself. Your body is yours to do what you want with it. Do not sell yourself short just to keep your guy around. If you have to give away pieces of yourself for someone to love you, then they will never love you. Remember that.
3. Do Not Settle
Waiting around for a guy that will love you for who you are and not what you look like in a little black dress may suck, but I can tell you when Mr. Right does pop into your life, you’ll be glad you didn’t settle. You will thank yourself for not wasting time on someone lower than the expectations you have set for yourself. Someone lower than your standards will not fill that void in your heart. They may be fun, but they are not forever, and in fact, they will cause you to lose yourself. You, are a smart individual, find someone who will push you to accomplish your goals and live your dreams with you. Trust me when I say you will be glad you did.
4. You Do Not Need Someone
You are independent, bold, and beautiful in every way. Do not believe you need someone else to live your life. You don’t need anyone but yourself. Remember that.
5. Your Time Will Come
God has an amazing plan for you. Whether it is marry an amazing person or live out his mission for your life, you will figure it out, and God is 100% behind you on whatever you do. God has your life planned out according to His plan. Until the time comes and you know what you are to do with your life, be patient. Enjoy life. And live your life.
6. Be Yourself
Make sure that you do not change who you are to impress another person. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are. Life is way too short to try to be someone that you just were not made to be. Personalities were made to make us all different, so own who you are. And remember the words of the amazing Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
7. Enjoy This Time
Admit it, being single is not the worst thing that has ever happened to you. In fact, being single gives you time to heal from a previous relationship, focus on your goals, and find what you want in life. You have the time to improve yourself for you. You have the time to hang out with your core friends. You have time to find yourself and love yourself. Remember, no one else can love you if you do not love yourself.
8. You Are Loved
I know that you may have some days where you are in a room full of people and you feel totally alone, but know that so many people love you. You have a family that loves you, friends that love you and want the absolute best for you. You are loved by God. God wouldn’t have put you here, where you are right now, if He did not love you. And I know it is hard to see now, but know His love is real. Embrace it.
9. Let Them In
Let down your walls a little bit. Know that not all people are out to get you. There are so many people who would kill to get to know you. You are a strong, independent, confident, individual, and know you can read people better than you think. You can learn a person’s intentions in minutes. If a person is pursuing you in all the right ways, letting them in may not be so bad. Who knows what a simple hello could lead.
10. Stop Looking (For the Ladies)
Okay, ladies, I may sound like an old lady, but you are a woman. It is not your job to pursue a man. Sit back, and enjoy doing you for a while. Many people say that love will find you when you least expect it, and that is totally true. The right guy will have to find the courage to introduce himself to you in God’s time, which is the right time. The moment you put things into God’s hand is the moment that things start to go right for you. Let go, and let God handle it.
10. Start Pursuing (For the Guys)
Okay, guys, women love being pursued. If you find a woman super attractive, think she has a smile that can light up a room, and has an amazing personality, pursue her! Don’t think that she will pursue you. Most women won’t. Pray about it and go get her! Who knows what a simple introduction may do for you. And who knows, your overwhelming confidence may just be the one thing that makes you stand out among all of the other guys. Place all of it in God’s hands, and He will lead you in the right direction.
Be patient, be still. Be accepting of the plan God has for you. God will never fail you. Until God reveals His plan to you, know you can handle the world without a significant other.